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Sunday, February 08, 2026

The Freedom of Not Being Liked

Stop Worrying If People Like You. They Don’t.


Let’s face it: not everyone will like you. In fact, some people won’t even bother to know you before they decide they don’t. And that’s okay.

We live in a culture that feeds on approval, likes, followers, applause, validation. From school to the workplace to social media, we’re conditioned to crave acceptance. But here’s the truth bomb: spending your life trying to make everyone like you is the fastest road to disappointment.

Why People Won’t Always Like You

Personal Biases – People project their own insecurities, experiences, and prejudices onto others. Sometimes, their dislike has nothing to do with you.
Different Values – You can’t align with everyone. What you stand for may clash with what they believe.
Envy and Competition – Some people won’t like you simply because you remind them of what they lack.
Human Nature – We’re wired to form tribes. Some will see you as “other,” no matter what you do.

The Cost of Chasing Approval


When you live to be liked, you live a borrowed life. You compromise your values, mute your voice, and shape yourself into something you’re not, all to gain applause that’s fleeting at best. Studies show that people-pleasers suffer higher levels of anxiety, stress, and burnout (APA, 2019).

And here’s the kicker: even if you succeed in winning approval, the moment you slip, that approval vanishes. It was never yours to begin with, it was conditional.

The Freedom of Not Caring


When you stop worrying about whether people like you, you gain something priceless: freedom.
Freedom to live by your own values.
Freedom to pursue your passions unapologetically.
Freedom to attract people who appreciate you for who you truly are, not the mask you wear.

As Dr. Seuss once said, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Redirect Your Energy


Instead of wasting energy convincing the world to like you, redirect it to:
Self-respect. The one person whose opinion truly matters is you.
Real connections. Invest in people who already see your worth.
Growth. Improve yourself for your own fulfillment, not to impress others.

Final Word


Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t—and even if they did, it’s not your job to live up to their expectations.

It’s your job to live fully, authentically, and courageously.
Because in the end, it’s not about how many people liked you, it’s about whether you liked the person you became.

Sunday, February 01, 2026

Fast love

Love Beyond the Butterflies: Why You Shouldn't Fall in Love Too Fast

It's all too easy to fall for someone when they're dressed to impress, talking sweetly, and playing the laugh-factor under the hot glow of new romance. When that's going on, love really does seem like magic. But the real test of any relationship isn't in the good times—it's in the storms.

Why Falling Too Fast Can Be Risky


Early in love, emotions are intensified. Psychologists refer to it as the "honeymoon phase." You view the other person with rose-tinted glasses, and then pretend that there are no flaws or red flags. That kind of love isn't sustainable. Life catches up eventually—bills come due, work gets hectic, issues arise. That's when the mask is removed, and you get to see who they actually are.
  • How do they treat you when they're exhausted?
  • Do they still revere you when they're under stress?
  • Can they be honest with you when they're broke or in financial struggles?
  • Are they patient and gentle when they're starving or frustrated?
These are the actual moments that show character.

The Right Person Makes Hard Times Easier

Real love isn't about not facing challenges; it's about how you encounter them with each other. The right person won't erase your issues, but they'll make the burden feel less heavy. They'll make you realize you're not by yourself, that even on the worst days there's a sanctuary in each other.

The wrong individual, however, will increase your load. They'll blame, withdraw, or put you down. That's why it's risky to get married too fast without actually knowing how someone reacts to life's inevitable difficulties.

Signs You're with the Right Person

  • They remain calm and encouraging when issues come up.
  • They talk openly rather than closing down.
  • They are respectful even during anger or exhaustion.
  • They struggle alongside you to resolve issues rather than letting you fend for yourself.
  • These are the characteristics that keep a relationship going past the butterflies.
  • Love That Lasts Requires Time
Falling in love too quickly may be exciting, but developing love that endures takes time. Take the time to really get to know someone, not simply during the highlight reel moments, but during the raw, unfiltered ones.

Because at the end of the day, true love isn't about who gets your heart racing—it's about who is there for you when the world gets too much.

Last Thought

Don't force love. Allow it to come naturally. The right person won't only love you in your best time; they'll stick around, hold you up, and love you through the storms.

Sunday, January 25, 2026

Boundaries That Will Save Your Peace as You Grow Older

Growing Older, Growing Wiser: Boundaries Everyone Should Learn

As we grow older, we start to realize one thing: life gets lighter when you learn to set boundaries.
Boundaries are not about pushing people away, they’re about protecting your energy, your peace, and your self-respect. Yet in a culture like ours, where pakikisama and self-sacrifice are deeply valued, setting boundaries can feel selfish.

But here’s the truth: boundaries are an act of love for yourself and for others.

Let’s break down some boundaries you must carry with you as you get older:

1. You’re Not Obligated to Solve Everyone’s Problems

Not every burden is yours to carry. While compassion is a virtue, constantly taking on others’ problems can lead to burnout and compassion fatigue (Figley, 1995). You can care without carrying everything.

2. Choosing Peace Needs No Justification

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for seeking peace. According to mental health research, reducing exposure to toxic environments can significantly improve emotional well-being (American Psychological Association, 2019). Your peace of mind is reason enough.

3. Not Everyone is a True Friend

As Dr. Brené Brown reminds us, trust is built in small moments over time (Brown, 2010). Not everyone who smiles at you deserves full access to your life. Learn to discern between acquaintances, temporary companions, and true friends. Connection is important, but discernment is essential.

4. You Don’t Have to Attend Every Fight You’re Invited To

Silence is not weakness—it’s wisdom. Walking away from unnecessary drama protects your mental health (Mayo Clinic, 2021). Not every battle is worth the scars.

5. Prioritizing Yourself is Self-Respect, Not Selfishness

Putting yourself first can feel guilty in a collectivist culture, but psychologists emphasize that self-care is critical for resilience (WHO, 2020). You can’t pour from an empty cup. Self-care sustains your ability to love others.

6. Walk Away From Disrespect

If a place, relationship, or workplace does not value you, it is not where you belong. Studies show that toxic relationships are linked to stress, depression, and even physical illness (Umberson & Montez, 2010). Respect yourself enough to walk away.

7. Not All Opinions Deserve Space in Your Life

Everyone will have opinions, but only you live with the consequences of your decisions. Filter whose voices you allow to shape your path. Advice is optional. Your choices are yours.

8. Privacy is Power

You don’t have to post every success, failure, or detail of your life. Oversharing can invite unnecessary stress, criticism, or exploitation (Derlega et al., 1993). Sometimes the best moments are the ones kept private.

Final Takeaway

Boundaries are not walls—they’re gates. They allow in what nourishes you and keep out what harms you. Learning to say no is saying yes to your peace, your dignity, and your future.

As you grow older, you’ll find that the best gift you can give yourself is not just more opportunities, but stronger boundaries.

References:

  • American Psychological Association (2019). Stress and Health.
  • Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection. Hazelden.
  • Derlega, V., Metts, S., Petronio, S., & Margulis, S. (1993). Self-Disclosure. Sage.
  • Figley, C. R. (1995). Compassion Fatigue: Coping with Secondary Traumatic Stress Disorder. Brunner/Mazel.
  • Mayo Clinic (2021). Conflict Resolution and Stress Management.
  • Umberson, D., & Montez, J. K. (2010). Social relationships and health: A flashpoint for health policy. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 51(Suppl), S54–S66.
  • World Health Organization (2020). Self-care interventions for health.

Sunday, January 18, 2026

It's not the best constitution in the world

The 1987 Philippine Constitution: Why It’s Outdated, Flawed, and Far from the World's Best


For decades, the 1987 Constitution of the Philippines has served as the nation’s fundamental law. Born out of the struggle against dictatorship, it sought to restore democracy. Yet, decades on, a chorus of experts, reformists, and citizens now argue that the charter is defective, outdated, and unfit for the dynamic challenges of the 21st century.

Entrenchment of Oligarchic Politics


While the Constitution aims to foster democracy, in reality, it has done little to break the grip of a small elite on political power. The nation's post-1986 laws have proved more successful at legislating social and economic measures than enacting genuine structural political change. Even strong-willed presidents, bolstered by supermajorities and public approval, failed to realize deep constitutional change, highlighting the document’s rigidity in the face of urgent reform needs. Rather than opening politics to ordinary Filipinos, the charter has enabled the persistence of oligarchic structures, limiting meaningful political participation.

Unaddressed Regional and Ethnic Conflicts


The 1987 Constitution has not meaningfully resolved longstanding regional struggles, especially in Mindanao. The Moro people’s demands for political autonomy and justice remain largely unmet, prolonging one of Southeast Asia’s longest internal conflicts. Failure to grant effective self-governance, alongside poor governance and persistent discrimination, has further justified separatist aspirations and fueled violence. Attempts at peace and autonomy, often rooted in constitutional provisions, have failed to deliver true empowerment and sustainable development in these regions.

Inadequate Checks and Balances


The judiciary, intended as an independent check, is in practice shaped by presidential appointments, with clear government-opposition coalitions forming within the Supreme Court. This undermines judicial impartiality and allows partisan agendas to permeate crucial legal decisions. Such flaws hinder the effective separation of powers, allowing for executive overreach or legislative gridlock.

Stagnant Political and Economic Development


Despite aspirations for good governance and progress, the Constitution leaves significant gaps in institutional performance and accountability. It does not force an overhaul of outdated laws or promote bold governance improvements. Instead, political incentives for real structural reform are weak; attempts at incremental change often fall short of the tangible results needed to tackle poverty, corruption, and inequality. Socioeconomic disparities linger, with calls for agrarian reform and alternative development models repeatedly stymied by the charter’s neoliberal framework and strongholds of elite power.

Problematic Church-State Dynamics


Although constitutional principles call for the separation of church and state, contemporary events reveal that these boundaries are often crossed. Political leaders and church authorities remain locked in conflict over issues such as reproductive health, sex education, and lawmaking. Instead of promoting a secular policy environment, the Constitution struggles to prevent profound religious influence over public affairs. This dynamic stymies social reform and undermines progress on issues like women’s health and rights.

Outdated Provisions and Language Issues


Some constitutional sections, reflecting the historical context of the late 1980s, have not aged well. For example, language policies aimed at unity or global competitiveness often fail in practice, allowing social realities and English-language dominance to persist at the expense of local languages and cultural identities. The Constitution’s ambiguous language on certain rights, governance structures, and social policies complicate effective and equitable implementation.

Persistently High Corruption and Weak Enforcement


The Constitution’s provisions against corruption have proved insufficient for eradicating deep-seated malpractices. Despite anti-corruption laws and periodic purges, corrupt practices remain endemic in the government, casting doubt on the effectiveness of constitutional safeguards. Laws designed to guarantee land reform and social justice also struggle with implementation, leaving marginalized communities with little genuine redress.

Education and Governance Failures


Philippine education reform has fallen short of its promise. Decentralization, promoted under the constitutional framework, has produced piecemeal adjustments rather than bold institutional transformation. Fundamental governance issues, such as inadequately defined functional responsibilities and lack of inclusive policymaking, go unaddressed, perpetuating inequity and administrative inefficiency.

Conclusion: Rotten at the Core?


In summary, the 1987 Philippine Constitution has failed to live up to its billing as the world’s best. It is rigid in crucial aspects yet vague where specificity is desperately needed. The document both reflects and perpetuates the fractured, elite-dominated reality it was meant to transcend. Calls for charter change, whether gradual or sweeping, reflect a common recognition: the time has come for decisive constitutional reform.

To Amend or Not To Amend: That is the Question. A Debate on Charter Change.